Burglary of a Motor Vehicle - My History

This past week, some ne'er-do-wells attempted to steal my F250 4X4 Crew Cab Diesel Truck. Since they were unsuccessful, and since they stole my K.I.T.T. Knight Rider GPS, the deputy recorded it as Burglary of a Motor Vehicle. Yeah, right. It took me 15 seconds to remove the last tumbler from the busted ignition switch and start it with a screwdriver. They were 15 seconds from stealing my 3 1/2 Tons of Black Fury. A pox on them.

This is the fourth time in my life that I've had a vehicle burglarized. This is the first time they tried to take the whole damned thing. In any event, it got me thinking about the other three times.

First Event: 1982
One morning in the Spring of 1982, while living in Des Moines, I went out to start my car for work. I turned the key. Nothing. Then I noticed the hood was up about an inch.

I raised the hood and saw a gaping hole where the starter used to be. But three things made me laugh. One - This was a 1974 Plymouth Gold Duster with over 100,000 miles, so the starter was going to fail sometime soon, anyway. Two - The thieves left the starter bolts in the transmission bellhousing (making replacement of the starter MUCH easier). Three - They didn't even cut the positive battery cable that connects to the starter. I figured they needed that starter much worse than I did. I half-expected to find a $20 bill and a thank-you note.



Second Event: 1986
One morning in the summer of 1986, while living in Shawnee, KS, I went out to start my 1985 Mitsubishi Tredia, to go to work. I saw a gaping hole in the dash where my stereo used to be. Grrr. One $50 AM-FM-Cassette Stereo gone. Then I looked in the passenger seat, and laughed. There on the seat was the Joe Jackson "Body and Soul" tape that had been in my stereo. The thief took the time to check my taste in music and, finding it inferior, declined to STEAL MY FRIGGING TAPE!



Third Event: 2003
One day in the summer of 2003, while living in Katy, TX, I went to our ranch (yes, the Big S Ranch) in Williamson County. On the ranch, we stored a 1950 Ford 8N tractor that I use to mow the pasture. This day, however, I noticed something amiss. The radiator grill and radiator cap were missing. This is a big deal because they were both 50+ year old original equipment pieces. Very hard to replace. What was worse... in the process of prying off the grill, the thieves poked three gaping holes in the radiator, rendering the tractor unusable. I was not laughing.

Today, the tractor is in my garage, still awaiting a new radiator. I'm doing a complete repair-and-repaint job, in addition to the new radiator (and grill and cap).


Moral of The Story
Shit happens. With each of these tales (including the current attempted truck theft), there was a sunny side. A bright side. A "Don't let the bastards get you down"side. Sometimes this bright side is immediately obvious. Sometimes it takes years to reveal itself. Don't let the obviously bad stuff get to you. Instead, look a little deeper and see if there is a brighter, lighter, or funnier side.

Signing off for now,
Big S Ranch